Did you take out too much in student loans? Thought that English degree was worth a good $100,000 in debt? Aren’t seeing the immediate benefits of a “philosophy”-focused education?

Well have no fear. Here are the top 5 tips for getting rid of those pesky student loans!

5.

Play dead

This strategy works well for your dog. It’s also useful when you are trying to avoid being eaten by a bear. Well picture the Federal government as a big mamma grizzle that wants her money back. You can’t pay, because you are pretending to be dead. Problem solved

4.

Put all your money on a single hand

Bold move I know, but before you know it you’ll have enough to pay off your loans. Just don’t lose like this guy:

 3.

Become “trans-student loan”

If you’ve been paying attention recently, people are claiming to be transgender, transracial, and even transable. Why not add one more? You are someone who took out some loans in the past, but identify as someone who doesn’t owe any money. Why can’t those evil conservatives just recognize you for who you are?

 2.

Lead a revolution

Hey, if you can overthrow the Federal government and become supreme dictator then you can undo all your past mistakes with a snap of the fingers. No one you owe money to will try to get it back then

1.

Actually pay them back

Yeah it’s not the sexy option. But most people spend money where they don’t need to, and you could pay off those loans quicker than you think. Ever try buying things you know you’ll need in bulk? Passing up the new pair of shoes? The latest iPhone? That extra drink at the bar?

Give financial responsibility a shot.

 

↓ Be Sure To Check Out ↓

5 Ways College Students Are Making A Ton of Money In 2015 ←

A $40,000 College Degree With Nothing To Show For It ←