1.

The riotous behavior was worse than the Ferguson riots

The never ending smashing of business windows, looting of stores, graffiti, and vandalism which amounts to hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage and lost business does not compare to the 2001 Nissan Maxima that was flipped over during the Pumpkin fest at Keene State. It is remarkable that such damage was able to be replaced in under 24 hours on GoFundMe

2.

The difference between frat boys and chimps is small

Both would probably throw their feces given the chance.

 

 3.

This is the face of America’s future

SUSPECT

SUSPECT

Don’t young men who look like this just scream leadership?

Full article: http://www.wmur.com/news/keene-police-release-photos-in-hopes-of-identifying-rioters/29274370

 

4.

If college kids obtain alcohol, bad things can happen

Keene taught us a valuable lesson that alcohol can impair decision making. To prevent this from happening again, I’m writing a five page proposal to Senator Jeanne Shaheen arguing that the drinking age should be raised to 25.

5.

More than riot gear is needed to tame college kids in flannels and sperrys

The riot geared, bullet proof, pepper spray equipped New Hampshire police force appeared to have been caught flat-footed verses the drunk teenagers in flannels and sperrys crowding the streets and throwing beer cans at each other. Next time a war breaks out, New Hampshire should consider a military-like response, with tanks and aerial drones to conquer the madness. 

BONUS:

Young Drunk White Men Are Dangerous and Menaces To SocietyAccording to Brittany Cooper; a contributing writer at Salon, professor of women’s studies, gender studies, and Africana studies at Rutgers University. 

Like Us on Facebook !

Follow Us on Twitter !

  • Jamie

    nice try on blaming greek life, they were out doing required community service all day. Get your facts straight before you go around placing blame. Also less than 2% of arrests made were actual keene students. So congrats on your ignorance

    • Jamie, is everything ok?

    • DanWebster1

      Hey Jamie. We here at SoCawlege take accuracy very seriously. Even when we write satire, we want to be sure that nothing was said incorrectly.

      Your critical thinking skills are strong, and you make us all proud to know that you’re the product of 13+ years of taxpayer funded “education.” Clearly, you knew this wasn’t serious and just decided to play along as a joke. Surely, you would know that we didn’t honestly want predator drones called in on college kids, among the other obviously unserious things we called for in the article.

      Whatever employer ends up with you is certainly a lucky one!

  • KR

    This is probably the most ignorant article to come to light after Pumpkinfest. How dare you compare the riots to Ferguson, not only was there no actual reason to riot but people in Ferguson are dying because of the color of their skin and police brutality. Secondly, there was no greek life involved in the “riots” so where are you getting your sources? How ignorant of you to comment on something you know NOTHING about. This event does not represent the youth of our future. What spurred the idea to write about something you clearly know nothing about?

    • Winston Wright

      You realize this is satire, right?