Here’s the list of 6 beers that you should only consider drinking under the circumstances that come along with being a college student. These beers will irritate your digestive tract, cause excessive diarrhea, and make you nauseous for the entire next day. I’m sorry if this list brings back traumatizing memories from the college days, but without further a do, here we go. 

1. Keystone Light

Alcohol ABV: 4.2%

Calories: 104

Why It Sucks:

At $11.99 for a 30 rack, this might be the cheapest substance with alcohol in it that a college kid can get their hands on. Don’t be surprised if you wake up in the morning with a hangover so bad it feels like someone beat you over the head with a hammer. 

2. Busch Light

Alcohol ABV: 4.2%

Calories: 110

Why It Sucks:

Another astoundingly cheap beer coming in at $10.99 for a 24 pack at the local convenient store. You might want to brush your teeth or pop a tic-tac after having a few of these as they tend to leave a terrible aftertaste.

3. Pabst Blue Ribbon

Alcohol ABV: 5.0%

Calories: 153

Why It Sucks:

Pabst, also referred to as “PBR”, lost its mainstream popularity once the hipsters got ahold of it and decided to make it their drink of choice at cookouts and french poetry writing sessions. At $10.99 for 18, Pabst is priced higher than both Keystone and Busch, but hey, that’s the cost of “drinking vintage”. 

4. Natural Light

Alcohol ABV: 5.9%

Calories: 157

Why It Sucks:

Natural Light, also referred to by suburb kids as “natty’s”. At roughly $15 for a 30 rack and an ABV of 5.9%, you can destroy your liver for free. 

5. Milwaukee’s Best Light

Alcohol ABV: 4.5%

Calories: 128

Why It Sucks:

Famously known for tasting skunked even when having been kept in the freezer since the day of purchase. Drink Milwaukee’s Best Light and You WILL experience unwanted gas for up to a week. 

6. Rolling Rock

Alcohol ABV: 4.4%

Calories: 132

Why It Sucks:

“Smells like three fat guys in a two-man tent” That is all. Good Luck.

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  • chris

    yup, you can add miller and bud to that list too.

    • haha! So true Chris. We tried to limit the list to 6