September 1st, 2014

Dear Diary,

Today I started my new class, introduction to Microeconomics. Already, I feel like I understand more about how the world works than nearly anyone else around me. Now when I hear stories about the economy on the news, I will know exactly what is going on, and how I can help society fix its problems!

September 8th, 2014

Dear Diary,

Our first quiz was scheduled for the 15th. Since my first class a week ago, I learned even more about how everything in the world operates. Pretty soon I will be qualified to run the whole economy. This quiz next week will be a slam-dunk for sure.

September 15th, 2014

Dear Diary,

The results of the quiz were posted online. I received a 39/100. Mother calmed me down over the phone, as I was hyperventilating for roughly 45 minutes. Father has already called the Dean and made it clear that Harvard will NOT be receiving its $200,000 grant this semester, as long as my quiz grade remains this low.

September 22nd, 2014

Dear Diary, 

Today I had a long talk with my economics professor. It amazes me how this charlatan got a job at such a prestigious institution like Harvard. He dared to tell me that my understanding of the economy was “lacking.” I understand more than nearly everyone! Doesn’t he understand I got into Harvard?! My Uncle, who works for Goldman Sachs, has already lined up three consecutive summer internships for me. How could someone with no understanding of economics land that?!

September 29th, 2014

Dear Diary,

Today I decided to switch to an Education major.