July 18, 2014
Today was another glorious day in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. I awoke to the sounds of birds chirping and traitorous officials screaming from their dog bites. After lunch, I was entertained by yet another parade of my many soldiers.
July 28, 2014
Barack Obama and John Kerry have not yet returned my many calls. Are they ignoring me because I’m fat? Well today I plan on launching another rocket at them to get their attention.
August 3rd, 2014
Since President Obama enjoys playing basketball so much, I decided to invite him to play a one on one game of HORSE in Pyongyang. Of course, the Dear Leader need not dirty himself with any physical activity. I will have my best friend Dennis Rodman play in my stead.
August 8th, 2014
Why does no other world leader return my messages? I am the Supreme Leader of the greatest nation on Earth.