Dear Diary,

Today, I rolled out of bed and crawled over to my computer, where I began my day by correcting people in the comments section of YouTube videos. This gave me the confidence boost I needed to get through my long, miserable day.

 

Dear Diary,

Today, I found a comment where some degenerate said “I love Rihannas style in this video, she is so inspiring.” I quickly replied “Did you mean, Rihanna’s? Lets not forget our apostrophes idiot.” The nerve of some people.

 

Dear Diary,

Today, I was accused of being a 45-year-old mall santa by some punk whose punctuation I corrected two weeks ago. I’m going to tell him the same thing I tell everyone who replies to me, and that is; “Blah blah blah…I still banged his surrogate mother.”

 

Dear Diary,

Today, on my Facebook newsfeed I saw somebody share “Ben Shapiro: The True Story of Ferguson And The Gentle Giant.” Upon clicking on this video, I noticed this upper middle-class- looking smirky white man differs from me politically, therefore this video will be awarded the comment ‘Fake & Gay’ as well as a comment on the Facebook post ‘Lol, this guy is such an idiot.’

 

Dear Diary,

Today, I feel like hating on Justin Bieber. I dislike the fact that he’s internationally famous, has five number one albums on the Billboard 200, sold out his Believe tour in one hour, and has a net worth of $200 million dollars. To relax my heated anger at somebody elses success, I will leave a comment on his ‘Baby’ music video. 

 

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