1.

The one constantly sharing funny/cute/animal/hood videos

These people are growing into a massive cult. You’ll notice at first it’s one video a week and then the next thing you know it turns into a daily (or hourly) venture. They easily rank among the worst as they are without a question taking over the newsfeed as we know it. Lucky for us, we can confirm we’re not the only ones wasting time (unless of course you watch the videos)

No.... Wake Flocka isn't actually running for President. He's 28 and that's just not how it works.

No…. Wake Flocka isn’t actually running for President. He’s 28 and that’s just not how it works.


2.

The one who shares a BuzzFeed article (ugh) and proceeds to tags 17 of their friends (UGH!)

Usually the sorority sister, ALWAYS the strat star. This one tends to put a bitter taste in my mouth because of how generic it is. “SOO US!” or “SOO ACCURATE!” tend to be the headers of these ones. Oh now you remember…

 

 

3.

The student activist who feels the need to share with you everything that’s wrong in the world

These people love sharing links from horribly biased news sources or sources that can’t even be considered real news. They tend to discredit Fox News through some catchy title and meta description and then proceed to blame a republican for a piece of legislation they had no control over. Even worse is when they share celebrities getting involved. Gee, thanks for sharing that article about Matt Damon being the poster child for teachers unions and public school education. But did you know his OWN children go to private schools?  

 

4.

The one who always updates their location whenever they travel

Oh you’re at Joe Coffee…. now the library….. now in the car driving home….. – many of us leave the couch at some point during the day too. Pretty narcissistic if you ask me.

 

5.

The one who can’t help but upload a new album every time they go get something to eat

Pretty similar to number 4 in terms of narcissism. These people are living in 2015 and haven’t heard of Instagram – a much more appropriate platform to post this type of content. Why? Because at least there I don’t have to follow you.  


6.

The ‘social mom’ who tags your friends in her pictures so they appear on your feed (or even worse, you)

You were just casually eating meatloaf at your buddies house when the next thing you know you get a Facebook notification on your phone “******* ************” has tagged you in a photo” Caption “Dinner with my Jason and his friend!” Appetite = lost.


7.

The class group you are still in from high school that people still post in for whatever reason

It’s quite awkward being in this group come mid-May, let alone receiving a notification that someone has made a post in it. Common posts include desperate attempts at trying to get you to support a GoFundMe campaign or another related event.

8.

The selfie mogul, who is constantly in search of that perfect angle  

Luckily this is only a phase for MOST people. However, there are the exceptional few with low self-esteem and zero confidence who have to upload a daily selfie to try to get some kind of validation from the internet.

 

9.

The music video bandit – every song he hears is so good, it just has to be shared

You read this and laughed because you know this person. They tend to share the terrible mainstream music about a week after everyone has already digested it. They are, the worst.

 

10.

Lyrics girl – in case you forgot the lyrics to a popular song, lyrics girl is there to remind you what they are 

Lyrics girl is the 2015 version of quotes girl. She likes to express her ‘mood’ through mainstream lyrics.

11.

The party kid – Yes, you are so cool. Thanks for another album of party pics. They are all blurry, taken in a dark room, and involve groups of d-bags holding red solo cups. No different from the last round.

Enough said.

 

12.

The sports reporter / Monday morning quarterback

This guy will give you updates on every decision your hometown sports teams make whether it be a trade agreement he is angry about, a touchdown, a foul, you name it. They also like to analyze the mistakes made after they have already been made and then suggest some kind of better alternative as if they were in a position to make the initial decision.  

13.

The Facebook model

Every photo is professionally edited and cropped with photoshop partnered with some kind of ‘scenery’ backdrop. You are, so pretty.

  • phijef

    Let’s see…the right-wing loon who laughs at his own misogynistic jokes. Or
    The right-wing friend who sits atop his horse looking down on the plebes from high school. Or
    The right-wing friend who is SURE that Obama is going to (take guns, invade Texas, turn into Satan and devour their young, etc….) Or
    The right-wing friend he actually thinks he/she is clever/cute.

    • ThomasER916

      Your bleeding Liberal rectal prolapse of tolerance is about to burst.

      • phijef

        I’m tolerant of rightwing folks. I don’t seek to put them in camps. They can continue to be ignorant all they want. Just because I don’t agree with them, doesn’t mean I’m “intolerant”. You should probably learn basic English.

        • ThomasER916

          Oh you’re so magically “tolerant”!

          We can feel your magical “tolerance” in Nelson Mandela’s generosity, when he gave out free necklaces.

          • phijef

            Nothing “magical” about it. I’m not stringing people up. Have a nice day.

          • ThomasER916

            LOL! You’re stupid! LOL!