Whether you’re an engineering major, physical science major, or computer science major, chances are you’ve been stressed out every semester beyond belief. Here at SoCawlege, we’ve compiled the 4 stages of exam anxiety most common in the age of the millennial.
DISCLAIMER: These stages DO NOT apply to theology, humanities, or gender studies majors – their troubles will lie in the job market.
1. The Confusion Stage
– The test is handed out and you look up at your fellow classmates after reading through the questions. Everyone has that same look of confusion mixed with mild annoyance. When did we learn this? This wasn’t on the study guide? He NEVER said this in lecture!
2. The Anxiety Sets In
– You start realizing you can’t answer these question correctly, and that your GPA is blown. How am I supposed to know who Dwight Eisenhower’s pet was, or what time that train arrives in Albany. Who gives a shit when the train gets to Albany?!? WHO STILL TAKES THE TRAIN!!!!
3. The “I can do this stage”
– After calming yourself down you realize that you’re up for the challenge. Sure, these questions were harder than the ones you practiced with, but you are a grade-A bullshitter. You know how to take advantage of that partial credit. Write down some formulas, list everything you know even if it has nothing to do with the question, and make yourself sound smart.
4. The Acceptance Stage
– After you give it your best shot you shamefully waddle to the front of the classroom. You can’t look at your professor in the eye as you turn your paper in because you know he is about to think you are a dip shit when grading latter. You gather your things, leave the room, and proceed to eat your feeling away.